Moving home

Hi all,

No I’m not moving back to WA. Although I know a few people who’d like me to. I am settling into Melbourne life, even though most days I feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants. The biggest challenge I’m facing so far is that I am, for the most part, a bit of a homebody. An introverted recluse who appreciates having the familiar to come home today after a long day. Here, I don’t have that. Not yet. I’m staying with a lovely lady right now, and her place is very homey, but its not MY space. Its someone else’s.

Sam said it rather succinctly when I spoke to him on the phone last. Its hard to relax when you’re in someone else’s home. And he’s right, even when you know friends and family very well its their home not yours. No matter how welcoming they are, or how warm and inviting the fire after a long night on the road. There’s nothing quite like walking to your own fridge at night, not worrying about the creaking floor boards waking everyone up around you. Alerting the entire house to your shameful midnight snacks.

Not that I’m having those! I’ve been trying to be good about my food consumption. I’ll be honest as well, my appetite has wilted away these past few weeks. I can’t remember the last time I finished an entire meal. Even sandwiches, I struggle to eat a whole one. Its been a blessing in its own way. One of the other issues I face living in someone else’s house is how I feel about using someone else’s kitchen. It just feels too weird. Too much like I’m encroaching in their personal space. Today I boiled some eggs, and shamefully waited until no one was home. For eggs! Maybe I’m overreacting and its not a problem for other people.

This has been problematic for my wallet. I’ve been strategic about it, looking for meals that I could comfortably get a lunch and a dinner out of. Or two lunches. Multiple dinners. But I’m reliant on what is available vs. what my dietary needs are. For a city known for its food, I find it a daily struggle to address the issue. Today I bit the bullet as best I could, and bought stuff to make salad and egg sandwiches. Forgetting about dinners of course. So I ordered Indian takeaway and had it delivered for an extra five. Not great, but one of the things about where I’m living at present is the hills.

Imagine Bridgetown. But someone dumped a well developed city on top. Now imagine walking up and down those hills to get from your house which is three blocks away to the shops. Roughly; I wasn’t counting by the end. And then back. While carrying your laundry and groceries. I wasn’t all that keen on the idea of making the trek back again. And its only three blocks! Indian will have to do. The good thing about Indian food, as a practised purveyor of its delights, is that the food you get for the dollars you spend can go a long way if you’re intelligent about it.

Well. If you’re not greedy.

Enough food for six days in one purchase (with no need to buy food on Christmas day) that will see me through to pay day next week. For $5 a day on dinners. It would’ve been less, if I hadn’t bought dessert for tonight as well. Or Naan for the first two nights. Sam is a much more dedicated devourer of Indian food. I don’t feel as though I am misjudging him when I say it might be harder if he were here with me, to make it last that long.

With Sam’s move over here approaching faster it seems with every passing day (how is it nearly Christmas day already!?) the realities of how hard the coming months are going to be are definitely hitting home. Making decisions about our belongings, what to bring and what to sell. What we need to buy/replace and what we need to learn to live without. Nothing is ever perfect. There’s always going to be decisions that need to be made, choices that are hard. One’s that may impact on our lives in ways we may not have considered when we made them.

I’m slowly learning to stop being so controlling about my life. This is difficult when your head constantly does a risk analysis of every situation you find yourself in. For right now though, its finding the balance between making the right decisions and a healthy mindset about how I approach them. For my own mental well-being.

Exciting things that have happened? Gosh. I’m incredibly dull, actually. Sam must be terribly disappointed in the lack of adventuring that I’m doing. At least in the exciting sense of the word. I feel like every day has something new in it though. A new train to ride on. New foods to try. New people to meet. Even finding a new laundromat took up half of my day today! So while I’m not visiting Melbourne Zoo, or Luna Park. Or hiking somewhere out in the wilderness. I am, in my own way, exploring Melbourne from the inside. Getting to know her people, her sights, sounds, smells and most importantly, her tastes.

Love you all, and miss you very much,
Cass
XOXO